til death do us part….

You know, initially I wasn’t going to blog tonight but after having a conversation with a friend of mine, it really got some things stirred up in me. Marriage. well, actually, fidelity in a marriage. Me, personally, I have NEVER cheated on anyone that I have been with. And Im actually quite proud to say that. Yea, there may have been a time where I saw someone and said “damn I would love to hit that!!” but I never did it and I could never see myself doing it. I dont understand people these days who just cant seem to keep it in their pants and stay faithful to their mate! I dont get it. I really dont. If you loved that person enough to actually stand before God, friends and family and say “I do” then why dont you? I mean, is it a chemical imbalance? Faulty wiring? Or are we just automatically predisposed to cheat? And its not just men. Although, granted, I will say that more men probably cheat than women, but its us women too. I know some females who whore around just as much as the men do and to me its just downright shameful. I have been in some pretty jacked up and bad relationships and even then, I still didnt cheat. Ive even been cheated on and still didnt cheat. The way I see it is, if you arent happy in your marriage or current relationship and you feel the need to have to go outside your home to find something that you need then its either A) time for you to move on and find someone who CAN fulfill everything that you need or B) tell your partner that you feel something is lacking and see if you can work together to restore it. But cheating? Thats just wrong. Period. No matter what else is going on there is never a justifiable reason for someone to go outside of their relationship to receive satisfaction from elsewhere.

In speaking to one friend about the situation their reasoning was because of the fact that they have kids together and they wanted to remain in their children’s daily life. Now, I understand that, I even commend a man for wanting to make sure he has a hand in raising his kids….however…being a good parent doesn’t mean that you have to be miserable and stay in a marriage that you are not only not happy in but consistently disrespecting and being unfaithful in. How is that setting a good example for your children? And people try to use naivety and say “well the kids are too young to know whats going on anyway”…bullshit! Children are like little antennas. They can sense when things aren’t happy with mommy and daddy. Stop fucking walking around with blinders on and thinking your kids are stupid and are oblivious to daddy sleeping on the sofa most nights or always coming home late or that no one ever talks during dinner…even you even bother to have dinner together or that the tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. They aren’t are blind as you think they are!! Not to mention, how many years are you going to use that excuse? You can run with it when they are 5 and 6. But if you have 11,12….15 year olds, get a clue, they know.

Like I said, I just don’t get it. If you’re that unhappy, pack your shit and go. There’s no point staying in a relationship where both parties are just utterly miserable. If you’ve gotten to that point…its not gonna get any better. So what are you staying for? Is it simply that youve gotten used to that person and know all their shit so its better to stay miserable where you’re comfortable than run the risk of having to deal with someone’s new shit? Or is it simply that its just cheaper to keep her and avoid having to pay child support and/or possibly alimony? Someone please give me clue because I surely don’t understand. If its me, I’d rather leave you than cheat on you. Plain and simple. If I know that I, you, we…have done everything that we could possibly do and Im still not happy and want to go elsewhere, its time for one of us to pack our bags. I dont care who but somebody got to get the hell up outta here. Period. I just cant see it any other way.

I guess I’m just too in love with “Love” to ever see myself doing that. I’ve never been able to see myself cheating for 4 reasons: #1 karma is a bitch and everything you do always comes back tenfold. I dont need that type of bad mojo hanging over me. #2 I’ve been on the receiving end of being cheated on and I know how that made me feel. It nearly killed me. I would never want to inflict that kind of pain and anguish on anyone else. #3 Im too afraid of getting caught. I’m a terrible liar (contrary to most women) especially with matters of the heart, even if I could say it and get away with it one look in my face and it would be all over. And #4 Folks is crazy as hell! Ive seen people get shot over stepping on tennis shoes by accident. Love can make a sane person INsane and do things that they wouldn’t normally do. I’ll be damned if I want to be a blurb in someone’s newspaper under the tagline “Crime of Passion”. Better yet, I don’t want to have to go to jail for killing a mofo in self defense. Shit, I’m too pretty to be in jail LOL! But seriously, its too many people out here looking for “just a good time” if that’s all you want, why take the risk of shattering someone else’s world simply bc you want to be a greedy sonofabitch and have your cake and eat it too?? Everything done in the dark will eventually come to light. Just like now, my sister just recently got divorced after 20 years of marriage and just found out that her husband, (the sonofabitch bastard that he is), cheated on her the ENTIRE time they were married! WTF! I always knew he was an ass but even I didn’t think he was that much of an ass. And even though they were going thru a divorce it still devastated her. I mean 20 years and 4 kids and he cheated the whole time?? She was crushed but she kept it together and I applaud her for that. Me? Id be in jail for murder right now. Real talk.

Anyway, I’m gonna bring this rant to a close. All I’m saying people is if you’re going to make a commitment, be a man/woman and honor that commitment. And if there comes a time when you feel that you no longer can then at least have enough compassion and respect for the other person to simply say “this is no longer what I want, I’m sorry” and walk away. While that may hurt them I’m sure that pain will be a helluva lot less than the pain of finding out they are being cheated on. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Plain and simple.

SN: Every time I talk to him I feel another flutter. Damn. What the hell is happening?